


bury me in satin

by thisprentiss



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Serial: s121 Earthshock, bc adric's death was fucked up!!, hey this is sad! but im posting it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisprentiss/pseuds/thisprentiss
Summary: tegan gets drunk and has a few things to say about adric's death





	bury me in satin

**Author's Note:**

> earthshock had me earthSHOOK poor adric i cry  
> anyway i feel like five and his companions really just needed to sit down and talk about how they were all coping with adric's death because that was super fucked up and he was. a child. title is from if i die young bc i always think of adric when i listen to that song :/  
> enjoy the pain!

Watching Tegan down her fifth shot in the past hour, the Doctor realized it was a mistake to come to this bar.

Nyssa stayed in the TARDIS, he didn't have to worry about her. And Adric was... well. Adric was gone. So it was just him and Tegan. _'A nice night out'_ he'd said, _'something fun. Earth normal, yeah?_ _'_ Because that's what adult friends did on Earth. They hung out at clubs and bars and shit like that. Tegan needed some sort of normalcy in her life, especially right now. And since he couldn't seem to get her back to Heathrow, he thought this was the closest to normal he could bring her.

He approached the bar as she ordered another drink, and put his hand on her elbow. "So it's true what they say about Aussies and their alcohol, then?"

Tegan pushed him, and the Doctor could tell immdiately how drunk she was; normally her pushes would send him back at least a step or two. But this was weak, entirely gross motor movement. "Fuck'ff," she groaned, grabbing the glass from the alien bartender and leaning heavily to the side.

Before she could drink, though, the Doctor grabbed her wrist. "I think we should go home, Tegan," he said under his breath. She tried to yank her arm out of his grip, flailing her whole body in the attempt. "Tegan, please. You're drunk."

"No, no, no," she pointed a finger in his face angrily, spit dribbling out of her mouth, "No, no, no, no-"

"Yes. Tegan. You're _very_ drunk, we need to go back to the TARDIS," he tried again. She pulled back on her drink again.

" _You're_ very dr'nk and need'a go back t-th-TARDIS-"

"Tegan," he pulled her arm.

"Doct'r," she snarled, pulling back.

"Right, fine," the Doctor let go and let her down the drink, turning to the bartender, "I'm cutting her off. How much does she owe?"

"I'm fine! I'm ar'right Doct'r, I'm-" Tegan was holding up her finger to order another drink.

"Sixteen Earth credits'll do," the creature told him, and the Doctor slid a twenty dollar bill across the counter, telling it to keep the change.

"C'mon, Tegan, we're going home," he pulled her off the bar stool and she fought his grip pathetically, arguing with nonsense words, "We're going back to the TARDIS, come on, I'm taking you home-"

"Not _home!_ " she managed to shove him off her when they were in the alley where the TARDIS was parked. It was quiet and dark out here, and her voice echoed off the rain-wet brick walls.

"What?" the Doctor asked, confused. Tegan's jaw tensed up.

"You- you- you- not _home_ , you can'even- home, we get- we go- we go _places but_ but not- we don't- _home-_ "

He sighed, stepping toward her. "I'm doing my best to get you back to Heathrow, Tegan, you'd understand that if you were sober. Just- just let me put you to bed. You'll feel better in the morning, trust me."

"NO!" she swatted at him and stumbled backwards, "No, no, no, no, trust you, trus', can't, f'shh, fuck, _fuck, fuck-_ "

"Tegan, _please_."

"Take me outta get drunk an- an- and not- you- mad when I ge' drunk-"

"I'm not mad, Tegan. And I _didn't_ bring you out to get drunk, I took you out so we could do something _normal_ for once instead of-"

She spluttered out a laugh, spraying him with vodka smelling spit. "Normal, norm'l, you- you acting- everything- _normal!_ " tears started streaking down her cheeks, and her chin quivered, "Normal you- you want it- me and Nyssa- acting _normal, normal_ like- like he isn't- Adric, he's- and he's gone, and-" she choked out a sob, staggering back when the Doctor tried to step toward her, "No, no, no, no, don', don't- don't _don't-_ "

"Tegan..." he could hear the crack in his voice, throat getting tight. They hadn't talked about it. Not _really. Especially not like this._ "I miss him too."

"Killed him, we- w- we Doctor we k-killed- we killed Adric, we killed-"

"We didn't, it wasn't our fault-"

"No, no, no-"

"We didn't kill him, Tegan-"

"Killed him, we- w- w- we- a _ch- child-_ "

"It wasn't our fault-"

" _STOP SAYING THAT!_ " Tegan screamed, "He- he- he was a _child, he was a child, w- we killed a child, Doct'r we killed-_ "

"He stayed on the freighter of his own free will, Tegan, please just let me put you to bed, we can talk about this when you're sober," he swallowed his own emotions and walked toward her again, " _Please._ "

"You, you, you-" Tegan growled, before another choked sob escaped and she doubled over to throw up on the ground.

 

* * *

 

Tegan woke up nauseous with an aching pain spread across her chest.

She didn't want to move; she knew it would make her sick.

"Hey, hey, there you are," the Doctor lowered himself down to her eye level, rubbing a hand over her shoulder comfortingly, "Do you need anything? Water?"

"Mm," she groaned, rolling so her face was pushed against the pillow.

"I'll be back."

The hand left her shoulder and she was alone again. Just for a moment, though, because as soon as he was gone, the Doctor was back with a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. Tegan felt a small burst of panic, and she made a pitiful noise.

"You alright?" the Doctor asked, concern knitting his brow together.

"You can't have aspirin," she murmured, but the Doctor just smiled and set the glass and bottle down on the nightstand.

"It's not for me, Tegan, I barely had anything to drink last night. Want me to help you sit up?"

She nodded, letting him pull her upright so her back was resting on the headboard. "Whose pajamas are these?" she asked, pulling on the loose black shirt to try and get a better look at the neon letters.

"An old friend of mine. She left them when she left," he had an aspirin and the water close to her face. "Drink. You'll feel better. Do you want coffee?"

When she'd had enough water to wash down the aspirin, she nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem," he smiled, but it was sad. Before Tegan could ask what was wrong, though, he was up and out the door yet again. She couldn't help but worry she'd said something awful to him last night. When he came back, mug of coffee in his hands, Tegan sat up a little straighter, rubbing at her chest. "Chest okay?"

"Yeah, I just-" Tegan pulled down the collar of the shirt and found several horizontal bruises across her sternum. "Fuck."

The Doctor's lips were pursed. "Yeah."

"What did I..."

"Toilet. You were... throwing up and crying. Kind of... violently."

"Oh."

"Sorry."

Tegan took a deep breath in and let it out, taking the mug from the Doctor and sipping at the coffee. There was a long, awkward silence between them, before Tegan finally sighed. "I didn't say anything shitty to you, right? You're being a little... I dunno. Weird around me."

"I'm not allowed to care for my hungover friend now?" he laughed. But, like his previous smile, it was half-hearted and fake. Tegan gave him a look, and the act dropped. "Listen, Tegan, you were drunk. It's alright."

"God, what happened?" she groaned, banging her head back against the headboard, "Nothing _too_ embarrassing, right? Because-"

"You talked about Adric, Tegan," it came out in a whisper, and Tegan almost dropped her coffee.

"Fuck, Doctor-"

"You could've told me you were hurting, you know that, don't you?" he looked genuinely hurt, eyes getting glassy. Tegan had to look away, holding the mug closer to her. "We all miss him, Tegan, we _all_ miss him."

"Yeah, I just-" she stopped, staring down into the coffee and watching several tears drip in. She looked back up, giving him a shaky smile, "He died trying to save my planet, Doctor. He- _fuck._ He died because of me."

The Doctor put his hand on her shoulder gently. "He would've done that whether it was your planet or not. It was a puzzle he wanted to solve. It's not your fault."

"I just _miss him_ , Doctor," she stifled a sob and bit her lip, "I miss him _so much_."

"I do too, Tegan."

She sniffled, wiping her eyes on her wrist, "Remember how _obnoxious_ he was?"

"Yeah," the Doctor laughed, "Couldn't stand him."

"Maths this, maths that-" they both laughed through their tears, " _God,_ the _fighting_ we'd do!"

"You two were like siblings, always with the bickering," he smiled, remembering how loud the arguments in the console room would get. Tegan grinned and choked out another laugh. "He'd get a right kick out of this. Imagine it, yeah?"

"Tegan Jovanka? Crying over _me?_ There's gotta be some mistake!" Tegan's poor imitation of the boy made them both giggle again, "He'd be so smug. The little prick."

"Yeah, he would."

Silence returned, and Tegan absently drank more of her coffee, the Doctor putting a comforting hand on top of hers. "It's gonna be alright, Tegan."

She nodded, closing her eyes. "Yeah."

But she wasn't sure if she believed him.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @lattepotts and tell me how much u miss adric


End file.
